Loving MySelf
In our quest to understand counseling, we are working our way through seeing “what’s love got to do with it”–namely God’s radical double-love command.
Before we can love our neighbors, we need to know what it means to love ourselves. For most of us, we have a self-centered notion, rather than a God-centered notion, of what it means to love ourselves. The answer to how we should love ourselves is closer than we might think!
Inherent in God’s created design is the ability to take care of ourselves. There are many practical ways we love ourselves–eating when hungry, drinking when thirsty, and sleeping when tired. Avoiding danger and seeking safety, pursuing relationships, and grieving the death of loved ones are additional examples of how we love ourselves. Because of our created design, all of these practical ways of self-love can take place, to a certain extent, apart from the gospel. So how should we love ourselves in light of the gospel? We love ourselves the best when we love God the most. God, as our Creator and Redeemer, loves us more than we can ever love ourselves. God, through his Spirit and living word, gives life and satisfaction to our souls. Therefore, the first love command defines how we are to love ourselves.
Given this understanding of self-love in light of the gospel, we are called to preach the gospel to ourselves as we struggle in our relationship with God due to our unbelief …
“Is God who he says he is?” “Does God really care about me?” “Does he love me?” ‘Why did God let this happen to me?” “God seems so far away.” “God seems like an angry judge, a disappointed father, etc.” ‘God will never forgive me for what I have done!” “His promises don’t apply to me …” “Why doesn’t God answer my prayers …“ “Why doesn’t he change me?” “I don’t believe God’s will and commands are best for me or good for me.”
We need to fight for the gospel to define and guide our most intimate relationship, our most true and important identity, and our divine calling to love and be like Christ. There is much at stake if we don’t grasp how we should love ourselves in light of God’s double-love commands. First, if we fail to love ourselves rightly, we fail to worship God rightly! Second, if fail to love ourselves rightly, we fail to love our neighbors rightly!
Some Questions for You … Have you ever thought about what it means to love yourself in light of the gospel? Can you relate to any of the questions about you and God (see above)? What do you think about the connection between loving yourself rightly and loving God rightly?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
‘we love BECAUSE He first loves us.’ thus we can only love ourselves by giving thanks to Him.
This is an extremely interesting topic. I love that you pointed out the true way to love ourselves is to love God. To date, I have not found a scripture that points to us having anything lasting to love about ourselves apart from God.
The normal ways that people seem to love themselves sometimes can even seem opposite to what God sees as love. For example, the flesh-nature in us may scream for our own perceived safety from danger, but for us Christians we may suffer hardship and persecution possibly to death for loving Christ.
Personally God has helped me so much by first giving me love, placing it in my heart. Through being enabled to know that God loves me, I feel that I can love others and I can love the creation that He is making-the pot which the potter has shaped into a vessel for glory. My identity is no longer a sin-ridden failure, but of a righteous king-priest with a heart housing the Lord of Lords, all because of His grace! Of course I had to seek to lose who I thought I was to accept who God wants to make into me. When I hated who the sin made me into, God could make me into something that I could really love even for His glory.
“He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39