From the category archives:

Counseling Blog

Redeem Marriage: Jesus is Better than Sex

by admin on February 16, 2012

February 3, 2012 Redeem Marriage Event

Jesus is Better than Sex: Warfare and Redemption in the Marriage Bed

The marriage bed can be both heaven and hell on earth. Oftentimes, this area of intimacy ends up revealing the junk in our hearts. But such suffering and sin should compel us to seek Christ for refuge and relief. God designed the marriage bed to be a place where we can follow Christ, be redeemed by his love and enjoy him in deeper ways.

Over 120 Sojourn couples gathered on Friday, February 3rd as we addressed this important aspect of marriage straight on with the gospel. Couples were also given the opportunity to submit questions anonymously before the event for our Q&A sessions.

We invite you to listen and follow along with the teaching audio and PDF material found below.

“Jesus is Better Than Sex” -  AudioPDF (Right click the link and select “Save link as” to save it to your computer)


Ministering in the Aftermath of Adultery

by admin on June 23, 2011

Yesterday evening a group Sojourners gathered to discuss the very important topic of “Ministering in the Aftermath of Adultery”. As ministry leaders it is crucial for us to be equipped to lovingly minister the gospel to those who are working through the difficult repercussions of adultery. Last nights training was the first of a two-part series on “Ministering in the Aftermath of Adultery” that laid a framework of the initial process and big picture. As the gospel fuels and drives our vision for redemption (both for the individuals involved and for their marriage), the teaching shares the importance of ministering the gospel to both the offended spouse and the offender. To listen to the complete teaching and download the PDF material visit our Equipping Resources Page and find “Ministering in the Aftermath of Adultery-Part 1″.


Biblical Counseling Coalition Blog

by robertcheong on May 2, 2011

I am excited to announce that the Biblical Counseling Coalition (BCC) ( launches its Blog Site: Grace & Truth today! Check out our New Blog

I have the privilege of serving as one of the BCC Council Board Members and I would love for you to check out the ever-changing website and the newly launched blog. The first week, you can enjoy the following posts from leaders in the biblical counseling movement:

In late May to early June, the BCC Book Review site will launch. Every week the BCC will post four biblical counseling book reviews. The site will also provide “The Best of Guides” (such as “The Top Ten Books on Biblical Counseling and Dealing with Anxiety”).

Then throughout the summer and on an ongoing basis, the BCC will launch the Free Resources section of the website. Eventually, the BCC plans to provide 1,000s of free articles, forms, counseling guides, videos, and audio resources.

Three Audiences

Every section of the BCC website will focus on three audiences:

  • People seeking biblical care: all of us—people in need of change.
  • People providing biblical care: pastors, counselors, spiritual friends.
  • People equipping biblical care-givers: educators, equippers, writers.

If you’d like to be placed on the BCC e-mailing list to hear more updates and receive periodic e-blasts and e-newsletters, sign-up on the BCC home page (


REDEEM: marriage – a Pastoral Reflection

by robertcheong on April 29, 2011

When you think of April 15, what comes to mind? Taxes! But April 15 2011 marked Sojourn’s first marriage event that kicked off with a candlelight dinner, not for two, but for over 200 hundred followed by an evening of teaching and talking heart-to-heart as couples.

Not only was I blessed as a pastor that God had brought all of the details together for this special event, but he also brought over 100 couples together to be reminded of how our God redeems our vision of marriage, our individual hearts, and our oneness as husbands and wives through the gospel of Jesus Christ.  To cap off the evening, couples where given almost 30 minutes in a quiet and private nook or cranny around the J-town campus. You might say, “What, 30 minutes is so short!” But every couple was so thankful for that intentional quiet time with each other. In most cases, the 30 minutes was more time than they have spent talking like this in a long, long time.

During this time, husbands and wives began to re-connect as couples, sharing intimate details of their hearts, encouraging one another, confessing ways in which they sinned against one another, and forgiving one another through the power of the cross. As Karen and I walked around to check out the couples during this “heart talk” time, we were so moved and blessed as we saw couples sitting face-to-face, some wives leaning into their husbands’ chest, some crying, some finding rest in the moment, and all praying together.

We all came back on Saturday morning to experience more teaching and heart talking as couples. The Spirit of God was very present throughout this marriage gathering, as he showed himself through the overall atmosphere of gospel encouragement and challenge.

If you didn”t have the chance to attend the Redeem: Marriage event, you and your spouse can download the teaching notes, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and sit and listen to each of the 4 sessions. Husbands, after each session, you can lead by intentionally working through the questions as a couple so that you can enjoy some “heart talk.” You will not regret it!  You can also download a “refrigerator card” that will remind you of a key point from each session, followed by a challenge question.

Pass this link along to other couples that you know would be encouraged and challenged by the gospel applied to marriage. Also, join us as we pray for the Lord to guide and lead us for future marriage gatherings at Sojourn.

May Jesus continue to redeem your vision, hearts, and oneness as a couple in Christ!


REDEEM: marriage (part 4)

by admin on April 28, 2011

Session 4: “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”

The following blog was written by Sojourn members Chris and Kat French as a reflection on the Redeem: Marriage Conference that took place in April, 2011.

Biblical Hot Seat of Personal Testimony!) There was so much good material covered, and I was so encouraged to see the subject addressed frankly and honestly among the Body.

Of all the materials in this session, I think the thing that had the most impact on me personally was the passage Robert and Karen shared about the husband offering to be his wife’s mirror, so she would always see herself as beautiful as he saw her.
In talking with Chris during the heart-talk time about it, I had a realization. Husbands, whether you offer to be it or not, you ARE the mirror your wife sees her body image through. If you make disparaging comparisons to other women, even “just joking,” or if you spend your sexual energy on pornography instead of pursuing her, it’s exactly as if you’re taping images of those women to her bathroom mirror with a note that says “You don’t measure up.” It’s hard to expect enthusiasm about lovemaking under those circumstances.
I’m so grateful to Sojourn, and to Pastor Robert and Karen, for sharing wisdom and how the Gospel should color every aspect of our lives, even (maybe especially) the marriage bed.
from Chris:
The big take away I got from this session was reflection.  The thought that sex should be a reflection of perfect union with Christ and ultimate pleasure was something that had never occurred to me.  I didn’t ever think that when I was internally complaining for whatever reason about the marriage bed that I was telling Christ that he wasn’t enough and that I was putting myself before him.  Also the reading Karen shared about the mirror and how we as husbands can affect our wives body image by what we “reflect” to them in how we act towards them was very powerful. This led to the most tender conversation Kat and I have had in a while wherein I needed to confess that the mirror that I had been to her in the past was broken, but that God has fixed it and she could now look into it with all confidence in the reflection she would see.


REDEEM: marriage (part 3)

April 28, 2011

Session 3: “Let’s Talk Heart to Heart” The following blog was written by Sojourn members Chris and Kat French as a reflection on the Redeem: Marriage Conference that took place in April, 2011. from Kat: I’ll admit it: I’m a chatterbox. Poor Chris is lucky to get a word in edgewise when I really get […]

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REDEEM: marriage (part 2)

April 28, 2011

Session 2: “YOU Need to Change” The following blog was written by Sojourn members Chris and Kat French as a reflection on the Redeem: Marriage Conference that took place in April, 2011. it feels like you can see the microscopic germs that are about to cause him/her pinkeye–and if there’s anything in your eye (doubtful), […]

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REDEEM: marriage (part 1)

April 28, 2011

Session 1: A Match Made in Heaven The following blog was written by Sojourn members Chris and Kat French as a reflection on the Redeem: Marriage Conference that took place in April, 2011. from Kat: I think almost all of us can relate to the way that our expectations and view of marriage change, both […]

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Redeeming Your Marriage (Part 4)

April 11, 2011

The following blog was written by Sojourn East member Terra Santos in preparation for the upcoming Redeem: Marriage Conference. The following two conversations do not represent any two specific Sojourners’ stories but the thoughts of many instead. It was written by Sojourn East member Terra Santos. “It seems like it’s all he ever wants. I’m […]

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Redeeming Your Marriage (Part 3)

April 11, 2011

The following blog was written by Sojourn East member Terra Santos in preparation for the upcoming Redeem: Marriage Conference. “We used to talk ALL of the time.  We spent hours on the phone.  We sent email after email.  We even Facebooked each other cute messages.  He’d leave me super sweet notes to find throughout the […]

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